In High School, a friend of mine took a job as a door-to-door knife salesman. He worked every weekend for three and a half months and only sold one knife set.
The Jehovah’s Witnesses face a similarly impossible task. They also go door-to-door trying to sell something that most people don’t want – an entirely new way of life. Their success rate is close to zero.
Are they horrible salesmen? Or are people hesitant to spontaneously convert religions after just a few minutes of talking to an un-welcomed visitor on their doorstep?
So as a natural problem solver, I started thinking – what type of people are most likely to be receptive to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and how can they be targeted to increase the odds of conversion success?
And as the wheels began to turn, I stumbled into a game-changing recruitment strategy.
Step 1: Target an Extremely Specific Demographic
Studies show that people who recently survived some sort of accident tend to be more receptive towards a sudden change in their religious beliefs. It is common for these people to seek out a greater purpose in life after the accident, and will look for any sort of “sign” to steer them down a new path.
These people are the the most likely successful converts, and these are doors you want your witnesses knocking on.
Step 2: Infiltrate the Hospital System
The most efficient way to find and track your new target demographic is to infiltrate a hospital. And to best infiltrate a hospital, you need to first invest in your human resources.
Rather than assigning all of your young witnesses to door-to-door duty, send the brightest ones to Medical School. When they finish, they will get a job at the hospital, putting them in position to identify strong conversion candidates.
But just because these candidates survived an accident doesn’t mean that they’ll immediately jump on board with the Jehovah’s Witness on their doorstep. They need to want to make life changes on their own, before they are approached.
Step 3: Partner with a Local Chinese Restaurant
When the survivors leave the hospital, they will receive a coupon for a Chinese restaurant with their discharge papers. This custom-made coupon is only given to the select group of survivors, and will offer free Crab Rangoons with the purchase of an entree.
This will virtually guarantee that the survivors will visit the restaurant within a week of their hospital discharge, as Crab Rangoons are impossible to turn down.
When the coupon is presented at the restaurant, the customer will be required to enter their name, address, phone number, email address, and 8 character password that contains a capital letter, a number, a special character, and a Chinese symbol.
It is important to note that the Jehovah’s Witnesses will receive this information from the Chinese restaurant and not from the hospital, avoiding any HIPAA violations.
Then lastly, and most importantly, the coupon will trigger the restaurant to give the customer a special fortune cookie designed specifically for the survivors. The fortune reads:
An unexpected visitor will show you the light. Trust them. Everything happens for a reason.
This is the “sign” they need.
Now the stage is set.
Testing the Strategy:
After leveraging an existing doctor who is a Jehovah’s Witness, and coordinating with a local Chinese restaurant, all of the pieces were finally in place.
And then a few days later, the plan was put to the test.
A local man, Otis Krepp, fell from a 9th floor window, landed in the street, and somehow managed to survive. He was treated at the hospital, and given the coupon when he was released.
Sure enough, two days later he visited the Chinese restaurant, claimed his crab rangoons, and received his special fortune cookie.
Otis read his fortune – the ancient Chinese wisdom hidden inside of his dessert – telling him to trust an unexpected visitor, and that everything happens for a reason.
As he ate, he began to think about the reason that he fell from the window, and the reason that he survived.
Maybe this is a second chance at life; a chance to become the person he should’ve been all along. If only an unexpected visitor would provide him with an intriguing opportunity to change his life.
He finished eating his rangoons in silence, while his mind raced.
The next day, two Jehovah’s witnesses arrived at his door eager for a chance at conversion. But they were too late. A knife salesman got there first.
Not only did Otis purchase a complete knife set, but he quit his job and joined their sales team full-time. Just like the cookie said, he trusted the unexpected visitor.
Otis was happy now. Fulfilled. He jumped at the opportunity to start fresh, to begin his life anew in the lucrative world of door-to-door knife sales. And he thanks God for it everyday.
I Just Realized Something 