I’ve been a nephew for almost 27 years, and now – after an egg in the family has been fertilized and a baby girl is on the way – its time that the apprentice becomes the master, that the nephew becomes the uncle.

So as I prepare to take on this new role, I’ve done quite a bit of research on what it means to be an uncle. 

What is an Uncle’s role?

The role of the uncle is deceptively complex. 

I’ll admit that before I began my research, I thought my uncle-hood experience would be essentially all the fun parts of being a parent, without any of the time commitment or responsibility. 

But there is far more to it. 

The uncle has the power and ability to deeply influence their nieces or nephews, and this power must be wielded with great care. As a famous uncle once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

As an uncle, the responsibilities are a double edged sword. 

On one hand, uncles have the responsibility to stretch the limit when it comes to having fun with the kids.

A true uncle would take his 12 year old nephew to see the R-rated movie that his parents were unsure of, allowing him to see some graphic violence, and maybe even catch a glimpse of a boob for the first time.

A true uncle would buy his 6 year old niece that trombone she wanted, as almost more of a gift to the parents who will be able to hear her practice every day.

But on the other hand, uncles have responsibility to the parents. Their role is to stretch the limit, not destroy it. Going over the line can hurt your uncle credibility and cause unnecessary restrictions to be placed on your uncle-ing. 

A true uncle would NOT take his 12 year old nephew to the strip club, and would NOT buy his 6 year old niece that Glock 9mm handgun that she wanted. 

With great power comes great responsibility. 

Common Uncle Mistakes

The most common uncle mistake is a misunderstanding of where this line is – either being a total extension of the parents (an “un-cool un-cle”) or taking things too far and allowing their nieces and nephews too much freedom.

But other common mistakes include:

Forcing your nephew to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs for the first 11 years of his life in order to hide him away from society out of fear that he may be a “wizard”.

Leading an army of hyenas in a plot to take the throne by killing your brother and exiling your nephew, ultimately blaming the death on him, leaving you next in succession to be king.

Uncle Jokes vs Dad Jokes

There’s a very subtle difference between the “Uncle Joke” and the “Dad Joke”, and to the untrained eye, they may appear identical. Let’s look at an example:

Billy: I’m thirsty
Dad: Hi thirsty, I’m dad.

Billy: I’m thirsty
Uncle Paul: Hi thirsty, I’m Uncle Paul.

Did you spot the difference?

The other key difference is that Uncle Jokes are able to take on edgier subject matter than Dad Jokes. For example:

Dad: I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.

Uncle: I used to be addicted to drugs. I still am, but I used to, too.

Final Thoughts From a Soon-to-be Uncle

Sometimes imposter syndrome can get the best of you. Was I ready to be an uncle? Was my experience as a nephew enough to prepare me for this lifelong commitment in uncle-hood? I was beginning to doubt myself.

I scoured the web and found that there are no “Uncle Lessons” available that seemed viable to me (minus that one listing on Craigslist who scammed me out of $500). 

I was beginning to feel pretty overwhelmed. I needed a drink. So I headed out to the liquor store to restock my bourbon supply.

Outside, a group of teenagers loitered, and one approached me asking if I’d buy them some alcohol.

“Anything, man,” he said, “We aren’t picky.”

But I couldn’t. I declined. 

Inside the store, I had a change of heart. A poster of Uncle Sam that said “I want you to get me a beer” caught my eye.

Was this a sign from above? Was God’s brother, our heavenly uncle, up there trying to send a message?

My heart started beating. I ran to the beer section and grabbed a 24 pack. I grabbed a bottle of vodka, a bottle of tequila, and a bottle of rum. Was this enough for them? To be safe, I grabbed another 24 pack of beer, and 2 more bottles of vodka. 

I checked out, and delivered the 5 bottles and 48 beers to the teenagers.

“Thanks, man,” said the teenager, “You’re like a fun uncle!”

I grinned. Yes I am. 

Unfortunately for the teenagers, I am actually a police officer who arrested each of them on the spot. 

But nothing took away from that moment; I was a true uncle. 

And now, with a fully stocked liquor cabinet and my newly found confidence, I am ready for my first niece to enter the world.